title of blog

Honey, I'm Home's Morning Mantra ~~ Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "Oh NO, She's up!"

Friday, August 22, 2014

As I trip over my own feet again…..

Yes, it’s apologies.  Seems to be that way all the time.  When I don’t feel particularly great, or I’m in pain as has been the case since last year, I don’t write. I just don’t have it in me to do it.  Then the surgeries came along.  Well, the hernia/Gerd/gall bladder one went ok but the aftermath has been…awful.  I’m not going into it.  Let’s say I spend a LOT of time in another room.  The knee surgery was slow in healing until that PT guy got hold of me.  He has really, really damaged something and I am always in pain now.  Don’t say to go back to the surgeon, I did.  He didn’t listen at all but he did keep asking how his new shirt looked.  The outfit he’s with is ranked as THE best, so going to anyone puts me right back in with the same group.  Even the PT group is owned by them.  Besides, after this, I’m not so certain I’d ever allow anyone around my knee again.  There you have it.  No writings as you know, no replies to anything, and just hibernating.  Toodie-Nancy told me I should blog right through the ups and the downs but I felt so crappy I couldn’t.  I even got the longest and most wonderful newsy email from Carrie and I haven’t replied to that, either.  I feel like the worst friend. 

I had a notification from my high school class that they’d opened a FB page. I didn’t have or want a FB page.  I mean, for heaven’s sake, if I wasn’t keeping up with my blog, why would it be any different with FB?  After a dozen letters came in, I caved and opened a page last night.  Oh geezy, why oh why.  The whole thing is sort of throwing me for a loop at the moment, but I’m trying to learn to work the darn site.  Everyone says they love it….maybe I will, maybe I won’t.  Gawd, I’m getting older by the second when I can’t navigate some site.  At least I discovered the “Home” button today and that really, really helped.  We’ll see, we’ll see.

I’m not saying I’m completely giving up on blogging, but I know this extended leave will continue.  Hate to type a sentence and then have to get up and go to the other room.  Do you have any idea how long it took to write this?  Don’t ask.  I have always loved blogging.  I love my blog friends and I love to write and I love to see what everyone is up to, but well…..the other room, you know, the one with the tub?  It’s calling again.  For lord’s sake, how much can even be in a person.  TMI.

For anyone that’s interested, I did copy the link to my FB page, and here it is at the bottom of this post. It’s showing my maiden name first for the school info. I hate losing touch, honestly I do. 

I send oodles of heart felt love and hugs to all of you  Red heartXOXOXO


Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Do Things Really Happen in 3’s?

                                                             Sad smile

Arlene, our good, good friend and blogster, wrote to me asking where I was. Yes, it’s been a long time again and I felt I really owed an explanation, so here is the letter I sent to her, and it also goes to you:


You have got to be the dearest soul on the planet, Arlene.  I don't mean to disappear.  I think of all the years on WindowsLive Blog and never missed a post.  Then we get to Blogspot and I was ok for a good while but as you know, first Mom died, then my 8 closest friends all in the course of that year.  THEN, I got sick.  All I can say is I hope that I'm getting closer to the end of all the crappy luck.  This knee surgery has been the pits.  It is very, very uncomfortable to sit at the computer for anything.  I hate sitting in chairs for more than about 5 minutes and then have to stand or lie down.  This blasted PT therapist has really hurt me.  A few weeks ago, I was actually getting better and could take the steps up and down.  BUT....he decided on his own that something could be out of place and he literally gouged his finger under my knee cap and you could have heard me scream for miles.  He jumped back and all he said was Opps.  Because of that, I was back on a cane, couldn't do steps, couldn't sleep for the pain and had to cancel the next appointment.  The following week, which was last week, I told him what he did set me back weeks and weeks and now the pain was as bad as the day after the original surgery.  He apologized but then strapped weights to my ankle for the first exercises.  I told him no in no uncertain terms, that it hurt to the point of screaming and that it also was killing my back where I had plates and screws (from breaking my back in '92).  The girl helping him immediately took off the weights, but when she walked off, he put them right back on, telling me it would be fine, and then let go of my leg. I yelled bloody murder.  That was last Thursday.  I have upcoming appts every other day for the next 2 weeks beginning tomorrow but as soon as I finish writing to you, I am calling and cancelling all of them.  He is not going to do this to me ever again.  From the movement under the knee cap to the pain now running the entire length of my leg and to under my foot, I am positive he's made a new rip in the meniscus.  I have a followup appt with the surgeon on June 10th and even though he never listens at all and only keeps saying how great I look and how glad he is to see me, I will tell him what has happened and if he wants to do a new MRI, fine, but he will never, ever be allowed to operate on me again, either.  I'm just done with it all and want to rest my achin' bod and do my own leg/knee exercises and heal.....or at least heal to the point where I can bear it.  It's all been a nightmare and I had no idea I'd be out of commission for this long.  It's been 7 weeks so far, and I know the healing time is said to be 2 months at the earliest and goes all the way to 6 months, but I'll bet anything that didn't take all this into consideration.  I feel like the surgeon and the therapist walked right out of the Mad Hatter's Tea Party. 

So that's the story up to this point and I think I'll post this to my page just for an update, but I swear, as this is the way it is right now, I'm honestly not sure of when I'll write much.  Just this typing/sitting has my leg really, really hurting.  It's like piano wires strung too tight and then pinged.  What a bunch of crap to happen, ugh.

But rather than write and just bitch and complain, I'd rather not blog at all until I can be smiling and laughing again.  I sure hope you and the rest of our wonderful group understands.

Always love to you and missing you, too,


Thursday, May 1, 2014

Yeowww! ~~~

                        1st pt session

Yessirree, that is what it was like at my first physical therapy session today, but I’m the one on the table.  I’m definitely sore after the workout but I really, really liked the physical therapist --- he listened!  And he also said I should have been in PT beginning the 4th day after the surgery and shook his head at the time passed.  He brought me up to speed on the “real” story of this type of knee surgery.  He said the surgeon, albeit a good one, was dead wrong on telling patients they’d be good as new only a few days after the surgery.  The therapist said even the jocks were a good 2 months to healing, and my age group was certainly longer.  He heard the snap/crack in my shin and he understood when I told him about the tight wire-like feeling running down my leg that actually vibrates, and he was very familiar with my almost asleep feeling in my foot but when it touches the ground, my foot vibrates and moves right up my leg.  He said my range of motion in one particular direction was ahead of the game, but he could see that the swelling was still markedly noticeable and that showed inflammation and pain still going on.  He doesn’t think that the surgeon did anything wrong but does think that it was wrong not to send me to PT within days of the surgery and it takes longer now to get where I need to be.  That’s it in a nutshell although we talked and did measurements and exercises for another hour and made appointments for 2 days a week for a month and then see where it all stands and reschedule accordingly.  He told me to use the cane and to do the exercises he gave me 3 times a day (and a load of reps).  He believes he’s going to be able to rid me of this pain and get the healing going the way it should be.  I like him and I trust him and have a good feeling about him, so I can bear this beginning PT pain ---- sure, I might yell, but it’s for a good cause.  I’m up for it.  So here we go again,  taking care of this and icing and exercising, etc,, and being away from my pc for the most part, but I am determined to get better.  Lord knows when I’ll blog walk but will when it’s feasible and I get used to this new schedule.  Age, who needs it?  Ick.  Well, I guess it is better than the alternative, and besides, my furry ones, Sam and Lucy need me.

See you all when I can.  Enjoy this glorious weather get out and do things.  Pot some flowers.  Sit outside with a good book….add a glass of wine to that.  Wave to your neighbors, and light up the world with your beautiful smiles!

                                             Red heart Xoxoxo Red heart

PS/  Happy May 1st!   MAY POP!  (You have to really be old to know that one)

Here’s how it started:

                 1st dance

By the time I was in elementary school, the tradition changed from pigs’ bladders to hitting your friends over the heads with school books and yelling, MAY POP!.  Wow.  Could that have been just a Southern thing?  And all this time they thought the problem was in-breeding, opps.

Monday, April 28, 2014

I Don’t Know What He’s Thinking ~~~

No matter what I do when I follow every rule to the letter, I still end up in an empty corner shaking my head in wonder.  Maybe it’s the “invisible” thing.

I went to the knee surgeon last Thursday, limping and with my cane, and first his assistant, Shea, comes in and he’s all aglow with, “Ohhhh, so good to see you!” Then he asks how I am and my answer was, “I honestly am not sure.  I am still in pain and still limping, and my knee is much warmer to the touch than my other knee, AND the pain is all the way up my leg just shy of the groin area”.  He says, “Have you ever had any problems with blood clots?”  I answered no, and that was the end of that discussion.  Then he says for me to walk for him without the cane.  I hobbled and dragged my achin’ leg and he said, “Ohhh, I see you have quite a limp there”.  I said yes, and the pain is still there, in my knee as you can see the swelling, down to my ankle, the back of my calf, the back on my knee and up through the thigh like I told you a minute ago. To even try to press on those areas almost takes me through the roof.”  He tells me to sit down and then starts pressing hard around my knee and calf. I was not quiet and he says, “That hurts?” What is the matter with these doctors?  Then he got up and said, “Great to see you, and Dr G will be coming in.  You might want to think about having a cortisone shot….”, and I said, “WAIT, you’ve already given me a number of them the last few months and nothing helped.  You can’t keep doing that.”  He thinks a minute (they never read your chart) and then says maybe physical therapy will help and to talk to Dr G. 

Dr G comes in, “Great to see you!”  I am so sick of that phrase by now, just fix me, but I nod and say nice to see you, too, BUT, I am still in pain, still swollen, still limping, and the pain is not only in my knee but……blah blah blah.  I pin him down to the question of, “Could this still be the Levaquin that is causing it?”  He returns to square one like he’s never heard that I had that problem, yet the MRI showed it plain as day.  All he says is, “Hmmm, maybe we should think about a cortisone shot and then if that doesn’t work, maybe physical therapy”.  Don’t you know I wanted to shoot through the ceiling.  I said the same thing again to him about already having an allotment of cortisone and he glances at my chart --- just a glance --- and says let’s try physical therapy.  I asked again about the pain throughout my leg and his answer now just dropped everything to physical therapy, and he said, “Tell the physical therapist where it hurts”.  THEN, he hesitates and says, “Did we xray your hip? Maybe it’s your hip!”  I said, “Hell NO, it is NOT my hip! It is my leg as I keep telling you and telling you.” Guess what he said. “Well, the next time you come in, if the pain hasn’t stopped, we’ll get an xray of your hip.” The insanity never stops. It is not my hip and I will not do the xray. I really wanted to say to him, “Is that buck you’re trying to pass heavy?”  But….you don’t get on the bad side of your surgeon.  Then he stood up and said, “Great to see you;  I’ll see you again in 3 weeks”,  and he left.  Me?  I was now sitting in an empty exam room.

I got myself up, hobbled out and across the hall to the physical therapist business. The girl there was really nice and when she heard I’d been some weeks out of surgery but only now being referred, she was a bit on the surprised side to say the least.  She set up the “soonest” appointment she could which is this coming Thursday.  It’s given me just enough time to debate if I want to even do it.  I can’t take even more pain and I’m positive that Levaquin is playing the part of the pain in the rest of leg, up and down.  I think the knee pain is only the healing taking longer and that would be due to my age.  My surgeon is a sports doc and he deals with all these super young jocks who heal in 48 hours from everything.  He forgets he’s looking at me…..I’m invisible, remember…..and only once has alluded to the fact that “as we get older, we take longer to heal”.  There are moments I think he’s trying to kill me.

And so today, I am icing my knee and leg like crazy, taking Aleve and doubling the dose, watching the rain which I’m sure makes bones and muscles hurt more, hearing the weather report of severe storms beginning tomorrow and through Wednesday night with even the likelihood of tornados, and weighing my feelings about Thursday.  I’ve decided that by early Wednesday morning I will either keep the appointment or cancel it for now.  Yes, my surgeon is passing the buck, and for some reason I feel antlers growing out of my head. As I pass by the  mirror, I see that I am that buck and I’m sort of sick of being passed around.  I didn’t even realize that bucks could be invisible like we seniors are.  Maybe when I see him next I can give him a little bit of hoof in his shin as I smile ever so brightly and say, “Great to see you!”

For now, resting, icing, trying to get in a better frame of mind, and will blog walk when I can sit without throbbing. Pfft.  I didn’t sign up for all this mess.


The day after my appointment, Mary had gallbladder surgery, so I was at the hospital with her all day and then picked her up the following day and took her home.  She’s doing well, thank goodness, but now we look like Dumb and Dumber walking down a hall.  She holds her side and I limp.  What a pair.