I can't believe I'm actually starting a whole new blog! This is the bees knees for sure. It's so much more different than our old Spaces -- but if you were on Spaces, you already know. What a trip Spaces turned out to be. It started off so nice, made sense, easy to make all sorts of things, and then POW, off with their heads...."our" heads, that is. I couldn't even get to my main page, but what I did see was that many of our old group just threw in the towel, gave up the ghost, kicked the can, and said, "I'm done, done, done with this mess". I couldn't agree more. Who wants spammers all over the place and in your so-called private mail? Not me and not you. I'll use Curtis' old saying: "Bugger snot". Yep, that's what it is. Ok, 'nuf said. Now to just fiddle around here and get things up and running. I'm older and slower so it won't be overnight, but it'll get there.
My old Spaces group knows this, but just in case they're around, here's the latest skinny: I am STILL doing paperwork for Mom's estate, can you believe it? But I can finally see a little speck of light at the end of the tunnel and for that I'm grateful. The bummer side is that John, my wonderful and appreciated financial advisor, quit the company. Thought I'd fall over with a heart attack. He called me and said he's moving his family to NY city and jumping into Wall Street. Well, he does have the talent for it and the personality to withstand it all. He's an A personality for sure, so this is right up his alley. But omg, where does that leave me? I don't know. I'll live through it and learn from this, too. Remember Regan in Poltergeist? Heading spinning completely around? That's me.
Do you know it's been almost 11 months since Mom died? Yes, August 6, 2009. If I didn't see it in print I'd never believe it. Seems like only 2 weeks ago to me. Is this the way it will always be? Do you know? Will you tell me? I really need a bit of emotional advice. I don't cry so hard every day anymore, but I do have my lump-in-the-throat moment every day and sometimes I break for a few minutes, then it's back to work. I want that day where the crying stops and the only things left are the good and fun and funny memories, not this nagging sense of unbearable loss. If I'm like this, how on earth does a person cope with the loss of a child? It's just beyond me, incomprehensible.
Working on the house.....whew. I have some major things to have fixed, such as flooding in the basement with the slightest drizzle. Then there's the yard. God. I worked sooooo hard this Spring and put in tons of flowers and bushes in the back only to have the heat burn them all up in these last 2 weeks. We've had record heat waves and burning sun, and my poor little baby plants couldn't tolerate it. Had it been a normal Spring, they would have thrived. I went out this afternoon and performed last rites over 2 Hydrangas and 3 Calla Lillies. The front is almost as funny (said with tongue in cheek). I had to have the giant pine in the middle of the front yard taken down because it was destroying my roof and gutters. 120 ft. tall it was --- and almost 5 ft across at the stump level. I looked at that awful hole with sawdust in it and said I couldn't live like that and wouldn't subject my neighbors to that sight, either. So I dug out that sawdust and filled it with topsoil and then potting soil and then dragged sod over it. Interesting sight. There's a pitcher's mound in the front yard now. HAHAHAHAHA, can't win. They say all that stump drops down, down, down over the years and so that's why it was suggested that I build "up". Oh yeah, great. It will be level in about 2 more generations. I may have to just have the entire front regraded and reseeded. Well, we'll see. I am trying for the 4th time in the last 20 minutes to get a picture of my house in the end of this blog. No luck. It keeps dropping it at the beginning and I can't move it. Can't even right click and cut. Have to "edit" and delete the html. I hate new stuff. Lol, no I don't, but I didn't feel like fiddling with it today. Hell with it. I'll put the pic in anyway and it'll be at the top. Who cares. If and when you see this, you'll know what happened; but because it's my first blog, no one will see it anyway. HA, the jokes on me, lol. Later~~
Oh, and p.s., there is now a matching double rocker on the other side of the porch as well. I'll tell you about the history of this little house another time. But to just pinch your interest, picture a closet less than 6 ft tall and only 2 ft wide. Every day is an adventure ;)
"HI JEN!!!"
ReplyDeleteOh girl you made my day by resurrecting from all that paperwork and starting a new blog no less. You jist jump in with both feet! Good for you. I hope you don't disappear again as I'd have to come over there an kick ....LOL! Tickled pink to see you again. Stay well and post often!
Good to see you out here. Guess you thought maybe I wasn't coming by eh? I can't believe I've started another one also. Come by when you get the chance.
ReplyDeletehttp://uselessmatter.blogspot.com/
Jenny, I am so happy that I found you again.
ReplyDeleteNo, we never get over the death of a loved one, but we cherish the memories forever and move on.
Hugs,
Beth
Jenny you have never left me totally . Im so very happy to have found you.
ReplyDeleteWonderful blog and so full of news. You will carry your Mom for so long and dont let go of that. I still have tears and it been three years, not lasting long and many happy memories. So very sorry you lost her for now.
I have so much news I guess. Love the house photo. Hope to see you come by.
.. I was at spaces for so long and I agree with you also its been hard to leave .
Lisa
oh yes Indeed, every day is an adventure...I agree most sincerely..I try to see each day as a newly written page. and you sound just like me when it comes to 'messin' with pasting and cutting and allsorts...and true..Spaces has changed for the worse, the worst for me being the shortness of comments...I mean..How could I exist with hardly anything to say? I ask you!!! Criminal...shutting me into a small box...and now I can ramble on to my hearts content..OK going to far now...but you know what I mean?..
ReplyDeleteMy Mom died in 2004, and I still miss her, her picture is on the wall next to me now...She's inside my heart and my head, so never far away. And she's smiling, Jenny. as your mother is, the pain will lessen over time...but the tears will still be there, only softer..
I now know what work has gone into making your garden and home look so lovely..I am filled with admiration.. bye for now New 'follower!!'