title of blog

Honey, I'm Home's Morning Mantra ~~ Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "Oh NO, She's up!"

Friday, February 4, 2011

Look Out, She’s Going to Blow!

I am blowing a gasket. REALLY blowing a gasket here. It takes a lot to make me blow but today is the day.  If I don't write about it, I'm afraid I'm going to make a call that I'll be sorry for later.  So....here's the story:

December, 2009 -- that's right 2009, I made a loan to a person that I'd known for years. They were in financial trouble like many in the country and he said that he'd repay the entire amount 2 weeks later with his tax refund. Now I should have realized that if he had a refund coming, he wouldn't have it in hand that fast. Still I made him the loan. Gee, I’m such an angel.

hand-taking-money-small

January, 2010, and no mention of the payment; February, no mention. In March, I asked him where my money was. He said he didn't have it. I said what about that tax refund and he said....oh, get this....the check was late and he's still waiting for it (In March? Remember this excuse for later).  I asked why he didn't even bother to mention that he might be late in repayment and he said he was "too embarrassed".  Soooo, he says give him another month.  The next month came and went, and the next and so on. In September, I asked for my money and this time he said he hasn't been working and so doesn't have it.  I reminded him of an email he sent in July patting himself on the back for the new job he got.  Ha. More excuses. He said he had "other" bills to pay. What am I? Chopped liver? OH, and there's more. Right after I made that loan to him, I also loaned him one of my cars, yes, my car, because the poor thing had his repossessed. THEN, I gave him and his wife the most gorgeous handmade complete dining room under the sun, table, chairs, huge china cabinet, console, mirrors, dishes, decorator items, you name it. Let's just say it took a truck to load it all up for them.

Then October rolled around and I got a ticket in the mail. What? A ticket? And from another state!  Ah ha! There is a photo enclosed because it's one of those traffic cameras. There he is, pretty as a picture, in MY car and speeding. Now the ticket was in MY name and I wasn't even there.  I got in touch with every law enforcement there was and the courts, too.  I got  notarized statements galore showing I hadn't even been in possession of my own car since Jan. 2010. I gave HIS name, address, phone, email, everything but his birth mother to the officials. Then I called him and let loose. He knew I meant business and swore he'd go to those officials and fess up and pay the ticket and have it on his name instead of mine.  Do you think he did it? Need I even answer that? So now I am doubly fuming. Here's what he did do:  he sent ME a money order for the amount of the ticket. Whoopdedoo. Then a month later he says he 'forgot' to go by the officials and straighten it all out.  I am fit to be tied.

trafficsign          judge-with-gavel GUILTY!!

In December, I had him come over on some pretext or another when in reality I had a promissory note waiting for him and a set date and amount for him to pay each month. Signed, sealed and delivered, or so I thought.  We are now a year and 2 months later and I have received ONE payment covering 2 months.  The most recent fiasco was the date due of Dec' 15th.  No payment. I email. He says that he hasn’t had any pay check because….yes, refer to the beginning of this insanity…of the snow and the holidays! That all the companies were behind in making out checks, but he makes a counter-offer and says he can pay Dec and Jan.'s payments on Jan. 26th, 2011.  On the 26th I get an email saying he's walking out to his mailbox to drop it in for the mailman to pick up. Are you kidding me.  I emailed immediately and told him that he needs to drop that into MY mailbox instead.  We are now 1 week and 2 days after that and no payment has arrived. Am I surprised? Not in the least.  I have sent an email saying that I know he lied and that that is what he has continuously done for over a year. I said that 'should' the payment show up tomorrow by some miracle, I will see the post mark and that will show beyond a shadow of a doubt that he has once again lied. You see, this man is a minister. Yes, a minister;  and he signs all of his emails, Minister "so and so". My last words to him were that I couldn't believe he had the nerve to sign anything with that title, that it was an affront to the position.

I will be so glad when ("if") this loan is finished. He will never be welcome in my home again and better not even think of contacting me for anything. That old saying about loaning money to friends is RIGHT. Do not do it.  Either GIFT the money or walk away FAST.
Ok, end of my rant.  I feel better.  Thanks for listening.

                                           moneyhandbanned_1

21 comments:

  1. You want I should load a few choice pieces of equipment in Godzilla and come pay him a visit....make him an offer he can't refuse?

    One of my brothers needed tools to get a job as a mechanic when he got out of prison after doing 4 years for his 11TH CONVICTION for driving without a license. I had professional roll-around tool boxes loaded with top of the line tools that I wasn't using anymore because I had been promoted to management so I let our mom talk me into selling them to him at a VERY STEEP discount.

    I got 2 payments before he sold everything for far more than he owed me, ran off to Iowa with someone else's wife and never paid me another penny. He just showed up at Mom's right before Christmas with his lazy girlfriend saying they needed a place to stay. They're eating her out of house and home, borrowed money from her to get the woman's license and insurance straightened out and Mom just discovered they needed the money because my brother just got arrested AGAIN for.....yep, driving on a revoked license in the girlfriend's uninsured car and when the cops offered to let her come get the car rather than have it towed they found out HER license has been revoked!

    Sorry for ranting on your rant but the offer stands. I'm in the mood to show someone....anyone...the error of their ways.

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  2. He is a user, pure and simple. He is 'minister' in name only by his own example. You need 'Judge Judy'.I'm so sorry you were treated this way.

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  3. Does he have a church? If so, show up one Sunday with your documents and tell your story from the pulpit! Or threaten to. I refuse to "lend" money to anyone. I either gift it or keep it because of this very thing. Can you take him to small claims court since you have the signed documents? You probably wouldn't get any money but you could drag him through the mud and/or make his life more difficult. I have a feeling you're much more angry at yourself for suckering into this situation than you are him for showing his true colors. Reverend Asshole needs a visit from Luigi and his brass knuckles.

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  4. Just read your comment on my post...

    Chuckolate is 29 years old. If I gave that a "second thought" I'd be a pedophile. Not only that but, on paper, he's one of my bosses. That makes both of us giggle since I boss him WAY more than he does me. Ha!! Probably no surprise there, huh? hahahahha. I mean, LOL.

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  5. Doesn't sound like much of a minister to me. At least not one who is living what he should be teaching. We loaned money to someone 7 years ago and have yet to see a penny of it. She begged, said she'd pay us back...well you know the routine. We won't do that again. If we can't afford to give it, then we sure won't loan it. Of course, I realize there are always extenuating circumstances..

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  6. I'm sorry this has happened to you, Jenny. :(

    As for your comment, that house is empty because after my grandson passed away, my daughter couldn't live there.

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  7. To Angie, you're right on the money (pardon the pun) about being more angry at myself for even fallin' for it. Still, when you know someone for so long, it's really a big disappointment in them, too. Well, live and learn. The story of my life, haha.

    To Sally, I had the feeling, yes. It is probably wayyy too soon for your daughter to feel like celebrating his life rather than just mourning it. If it was a little further down the road, it would be wonderful if she could have made the house into once again what it was that made him so happy to begin with. I wish he had never passed away. Ben was beautiful, like all of his family. I'm pointing at you, Sally.

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  8. I really like Miz Angie's comment. Go with it!
    As for the minister, this reinforces that old adage, 'with friends like that, you don't need enemys.'
    PLUS, I am willing to come along with Chip and deck the guy!
    xoxoxo

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  9. This man may call himself a minister! But I would asked, A minister of what???? He will stand before a Holy God , and give an account of his life,as we all will. There are many so called ministers, in church buildings, who don't even believe in the Divinity of Christ. I would ask, what do they believe? Jesus called such religious persons,"The Blind leading the blind". No substance! God is Righteous, and Just. This person, will get what is do him. God doesn't take those who use His name for evil practices, lightly.
    It makes me very angry, and sad when people misrepresent God.

    I'm sorry to hear what has happened to you Jenny. With friends like that, who needs enemies? I could feel my own bloodpressure rising as I read of your unfortunate experience.
    Well, I guess I said enough.
    I need to bo back up some things on my computer, as I had a problem with my computer tonight and don't want to take a chance of loosing the photos I haven't backed up yet.
    Take care Jenny, and hope you have a nice weekend.
    Hugs, Dianne :)

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  10. Hi Jenny
    I am so sorry this has happened to you and can fully understand your anger and disappointment in this person. As to him being a minister, doesn't it say somewhere in the bible that he will be judged more severely on the final day. Vengeance, is mine says the Lord. Sometimes it is very difficult to leave it in His Hands. Take care and have a good weekend, Hugs - Nita

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  11. Yep, lending is a terrible burden most of the time and ends up ruining relationships. I don't believe in lending or borrowing at all. I pray you end up with a hundred fold return in this deal.

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  12. Oh dear Jenny, how awful for you, I can sympathise believe me, as I've fallen for that sort of thing too, and the relationship was much closer. 18 months ago |I loaned a tidy some interest free for a 6 months guaranteed pay back, huh, I should have known better, as it wasn't the first time. No fool like an old fool as they say, [referring to me] I hope you get something back, you don't deserve to get kicked in the teeth like this, there are some evil ba****ds around, now pop over to my blog and cheer yourself up with some funnies I've posted.

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  13. Wow Jenny, I really feel bad that all of this happened to you. To take advantage of such a nice lady is wrong. To lie to such a nice lady is wrong and to go back on your word is wrong!

    Back when I was still working I loaned some money to a co-worker...not as much as your loan, but still, it was with the understanding that she'd pay me back with each paycheck. Well, it never happened. I'm still pissed about it, not over the money part. It's that she lied to me. I learned a valuable lesson about loaning money. DON'T DO IT! I'll buy someone a tank of gas or a bag of groceries, but I WILL NEVER AGAIN LOAN MONEY TO A FRIEND!

    Hope you get some of your money back and I like the idea of calling Judge Judy! She'd be on your side in a New York minute!

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  14. Jenny, I am terribly sorry this happened. It happens to me as well, Not once but twice. My best friend (female) in the world (she still is a friend) borrowed a thousand from me and never ever paid it back, crying a fairly justified poor mouth. BUT in 12 years..a dollar a WEEK would be better than nothing. The other was also a thousand dollars to a close friend. I never saw that either. I have learned since the bank is closed. Forever.

    That jerk you're writing of must have bought one of those $5.98 pieces of paper proclaiming you a minister. Bet he never set foot in a Divinity College.

    Sad we all have to learn the hard way, girl friend.

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  15. Oh Jenny,
    I am so sorry you are in this position...isn't it a terrible feeling to get burned when you had trust in that individual? UGH!!!!
    I really am sorry! I hope you get your money and then say sayonara to him!

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  16. I have been remiss in my blog reading. But I'm here now!

    I would be fuming as well. When I read this, there was one thing that kept running through my head. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXId5jOTxdg

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  17. Yep...Back in the early 80's I got burned by "selling a car to a neighbor" at about 1/4 of its real value. Turned out he skipped out about a week later and I never got a cent.
    I have an ironclad rule to NEVER CO-SIGN for ANYBODY! Not even the daughter or ANY Family or Friends!
    If they do not respect my ideas...it becomes even more of a problem for them.
    I have in the past "given cash gifts" to friends when they needed it. Almost all have re-gifted it back when times got better. If not...that's OK, because it was a gift, with no strings attached!
    That horse's ass "minister" sounds like he needs his kneecaps worked over with a good ole Louisville Slugger!

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  18. Small claims might be the most practical way to go, Jenny; if you decide to pursue it I wish you success and closure on a miserable episode i your life.

    I lent money to one of my sons some time ago when he was struggling through a series of situations over which he had no real control.
    I wished it could've been more, but I offered as much as I could at the time, and he was grateful.

    He's since worked through those difficult times and life is working out better for him; he's gainfully employed and in a wonderful relationship with a young lady I already love like a daughter. He repaid me when he could, and I have no regrets about the loan.

    Sometimes such scenarios work out.

    In your case, Jenny; I'm disappointed for you, that you were treated so shabbily by someone who should've known better. Sometimes we don't know people as well as we think.

    *hugs Jenny very bigly*

    Again, I'm so sorry this happened to you. Personally, I hope you fight back. You deserve better.

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  19. Can't believe I missed this blog Jenny, I'm sorry for being late. I read this wide eyed.. and what a blooming cheek to call himself a Minister... Ministering to his own needs and no thought for anyone else!! It sickens me that some people are able to shrug off any thought of decency and honesty and talk themselves into a frame of mind when they're in the right... Beggars belief it really does. I just hope you finally get all your money back, but the trouble is, you've lost so much more, in that faith in people has been dented, and he's the cause of it. The money grabbing, cheating swine..(pardon my french!!) hugs to you, sweet lady, and think sweet thoughts to get the vile taste of him out of your mind... Hugs and woofs from me and her Maj.x

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  20. Do NOT be angry at yourself! Even if the behavior was mistaken, the heart was good and any negative feeling you have toward yourself is yet more of a win for this jerk. The last person I personally would lend to is a clergyman because his whole career is profiting from the gullibility of others, but you are hardly the only one who has believed one of these people. At least he didn’t seduce you! (Of course, then it is arguable that you might have gotten SOMETHING out of it; that would depend on the performance, I guess).
    You have a promissory note? Take him to small claims court. Bring all the correspondence on the subject. Better yet, go to a TV judge and let him be exposed to the others he is borrowing from. Surely you don’t think you are the only one? These people profit from your willingness to try to be understanding. The minute someone borrows money they are no longer a friend or relative; they are only a party to business deal. It is crucial to understand that. Their hope is that you will not realize this.
    I had a similar experience with a young female relative. Oh, the promises! Again and again, I said that even $10 a month regularly would be acceptable – but no way. At first I bent over backward to accommodate HER (sound familiar?); but finally I told her that if I failed to get regular monthly payments – she could set the amount; I honestly would have taken a dollar – I would tell her grandmother and all the rest of the family. Even that didn’t work – she didn’t keep paying, and I did indeed tell everyone. Her rep in the family is irrevocably damaged. And I am out – wait for it! – just under $11,000. It WAS more – when she married, her hub was horrified and I got a few payments. But apparently she assumes that he got the debt when they divorced, because that was the last of it. Once in a great while, a situation arises where we might meet, and I get an “I feel awful” letter with $50 or $100. But she’s far away, so this is rare.
    The clue to a sure bad debt is when repayment is contingent on the tax refund, the Christmas bonus, the annual raise or some other ‘extra’ money. The problem is that the borrower genuinely means to repay at the time of the loan – this is what makes them so convincing. It is just that when that money comes, IF it does, there are just so many places to spend it (including debts to others). And there is that nagging feeling that YOU are rich enough to loan that amount, while they can’t afford everything they want. Pretty soon you are the bad guy.

    The number one thing, if one loans, is ALWAYS make a payment schedule - weekly, monthly - they can repay in a lump if they wish, but have the agreement on regular sums in place. If anyone cavils at a schedule from the get-go, he will NOT repay you. NEVER.

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  21. Thanks for dropping by Jenny, and leaving the 'fish protest' link, I added my name, and also embedded a link on my site... these things need to be followed up.
    Hope your tax filing went ok...just been round to Beth's and she's doing the same.
    Take care and bye from me and Her Maj...xx

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